I know it's inappropriate or impolite for me to bring up personal issues of a friend here. However, I feel that I must voice out my opinions. What I am going to say may sound hurtful or too straightforward, but I really hope that you will read this post. You know who you are...
Anyway, I am not going to divulge all the grandma's stories here... I will go straight to the point on what I am thinking.
You told me that you want to let Guy S go, I don't understand why you are still replying his smses or meeting him. By doing these, aren't you are reminding him "Hey, I'm here for you", or telling him "It's not over between us yet, you still have a chance". Ironic, isn't it?
You told me that you are looking forward to start a new relationship with Guy K, then why are you looking behind your back for Guy S? To me, you are moving backward to the past instead of walking forward to embrace a new future.
Despite that you told me that you are looking forward to start a new relationship with Guy K, I feel that you are being indecisive because... you still love Guy S but you are also afraid of losing Guy K. You may say I don't understand what you and Guy S have gone through for the past 5 years. Yes, I admit. As a friend, I am not advising you to forget him or to erase those memories shared by both of you. Whether those memories are sweet or unhappy, they are one of the stories in your life journal and nobody can take away from you. Since you have decided to end this chapter (with Guy S) and want to start a new chapter (with Guy K) in your life journal, you should stop "scribbling" on that "old chapter"... BE MORE DECISIVE!
Well, every couple shares happy memories when they are in love, HOWEVER...
if one day they found that their personalities clash,
if they always quarrel every time they meet,
if one of them does not make any effort in maintaining a relationship,
if one of them always takes his/her partner for granted,
and many other ifs...
DOES IT MEAN THAT THEY MUST BE "TIED" TOGETHER BECAUSE THEY ONCE SHARED SWEET AND HAPPY MEMORIES? No, right?
If you are letting Guy S go, why are you feeling miserable? Letting him go should make you feel relieved. If that makes you so miserable, why let him go in the first place? When you are feeling miserable, the one who stand by you feel more miserable than you. Because of your soft-heartedness, you couldn't bear to hurt Guy S. But, I think that you are hurting more people. If you are more decisive and determined, you only hurt one person. Am I right to say that? Yes, you will definitely feel guilty towards the one whom you decided to give up, but that's only temporary. If you continue to drag your feet on resolving these issues, trust me you will only worsen the whole situation.
Firstly, three parties feel miserable for even LONGER period of time. Secondly, you give Guy S an illusion of him "having a chance", and then make him fall even HARDER to hell if you are dragging your feet on staying firm on your decision. Thirdly, these issues will cast a DARKER shadow on your new relationship with Guy K; or will create a DEEPER crack on your relationship/friendship with Guy S.
You may think that my analysis is not right. However, as an outsider, I see situations clearer than you guys. That's all I wanna say. Those words are hurtful, but I only speak the truth to my friends. Happiness doesn't wait for you, it's for you to pursue! 要懂得放下, 才能够拥有... get it?
Good luck!
